It’s kind of curious that we humans are often more motivated by pain than pleasure.

I’m not talking about the kinky and consensual kind of pain. I simply mean that we seemed to be spurred to move away from what we don’t want rather than move towards what we do want. The stick of suffering is a more powerful stimulus than the carrot of bliss.

It doesn’t have to be this way.

You can discover what feels right for you as a sexual being at any time. Learning how to enhance your pleasure doesn’t eradicate everything that has come before. What if you could have something even better?

If you wanted to paint like a Picasso, you would enrol in an art class.
If you wanted to take fitness to the next level, you would seek support from a personal trainer.
If you wanted to elevate your cuisine from the everyday to the extraordinary, you would study gastronomy.

Waiting till it becomes a problem is probably the most problematic time to try and change your situation. Would you take up tango with a twisted ankle?

Right now, I find myself offering this advice to couples. Yet is also valuable for anyone who longs to be in intimate relationship and thinks they need to wait to have partner to start...

The best time to learn about sexuality and intimacy is when things are already good (enough).
Create solid foundations.
Build on them.
Cultivate clear communication.
Experience refreshingly real intimacy.
Enhance your pleasure.
Elevate your love.

That way, when the road of life gets bumpy - as it inevitably will - you have shored up positive experiences to sustain you and top notch practices to meet the challenges.

Sexual energy is an amplifier.

It will amplify whatever is there.

If you are having problems in your relationship, it’s tempting to think that learning sexual techniques will magically change everything and bring ultimate happiness. After all that’s what popular culture leads us to believe. However, if there are unresolved issues and buried feelings, then you are going to hit roadbumps. Best to start with talking therapy to clear the way.

If you are curious about what working with me could offer you, then check out my Erotic Education sessions for couples and men.

You can book in for a no-obligation Exploration Call to discuss