Time and time again I hear from men that they are a “giver”. It gives him pleasure to give pleasure to a woman during intimate and erotic encounters.

Our culture rewards the concept of giving. How generous. How considerate. What a good person you must be when you give.

And yet… there can be a shadow to this giving.

What if you are actually giving her the responsibility of making you feel good?

Could it be that in pleasuring her, you are centering your need for validation through her orgasm?
Could it be that you are trying to prove yourself - as a man and a lover?
What if this burden of expectation is the very thing that stifles erotic flow? Your hidden agenda inadvertently turning her off when you want to turn her on.

A simple but tragic truth is that many men do not feel much sensation in their body. Taught to shut down their feeling sense from an early age, pleasure is squeezed through a tiny aperture of expression. Often through ejaculation. And not even much at that.

When a man cannot feel sensation in his own body, he takes pleasure in seeing his partner express through hers. Vicarious visual pleasure over direct embodied pleasure.

In short, he takes pleasure from her experience.

Although he is in the active role, it is not a pure act of giving. In fact, it is an act of taking. And at some level the woman knows it and her arousal shuts down. Consciously or unconsciously, she rejects this Trojan horse of a gift.

If you have built your sense of self as a “giver” then reading this might leave you feeling deflated. Perhaps even knock you right down.

However, you’re probably the kind of guy who wants to be the best he can be. You would rather hear the truth than something beautiful.

So, feel free to take a moment to pick yourself up, dust yourself off, and then read on…

The journey to becoming a master lover starts with you. Your body. Your pleasure. Your potency.

I love it how men want to bring pleasure to women. And when you already feel good in yourself, then you truly have something to give to another.

That’s why Level One of my Erotic Mastery for Evolutionary Men programme starts with ACTIVATE – igniting your sexual energy from the inside out and owning it fully.

Cultivating your pleasure is the road less travelled for many men. On the other side of this are untold treasures. For you and for her.

Want to know more? Then book in for an Erotic Mastery Exploration Call.